Today, 29 July 2019…Taking Responsibility

Beautiful Souls,

Have you noticed that when we are bogged down by our own pain we tend to view the rest of the world through pain filled eyes?  Our minds can’t be quiet, we cannot get a good night’s rest, our bodies ache (especially the neck and shoulders – which represent the part of the body that “carries burdens’),  and we are ill at ease?  We wonder, ‘Why do we keep attracting the same situations, and people?’ ‘Why does this keep happening?’  ‘Why me?’

How do we change this pattern?  What is this cycle?

In my limited experience, and with the meditation practices that have opened my eyes, I have learned the power of  ‘taking responsibility’ for the conditions in which I find myself as a result of the choices I have made.

It is not easy to accept responsibility for the part we play in perpetuating our pain.  Of course this does not apply to all situations, I leave the discerning to you.

In many cases, I have given my power to others I trusted, personally and professionally, and not listened to that inner voice that warned me early on.  Whether it was a situation within my family,  a friendship, a romantic relationship, or a job, every time I have not heeded that inner voice, I have suffered.  We all have instincts.  There are triggers that set off our warning bells.   I admit I have not listened to those warning bells for most of my adult life, and have regretted it more times than I care to remember.

I am presently in the process of writing a book about my life, and the journey of self reflection required to do this has forced me to recognize the self-defeating patterns I fell into starting in my early adult years. Many times I actually have said aloud, to my computer, “You stupid girl!”, and “What were you thinking?” and “OH MY GOD!!!”…because it is all there; the need….. to be loved, accepted, understood, recognized, appreciated in the way I wanted and imagined I would be.  According to the Buddhist principles that I follow this emotional pattern is one of the root poisons, called ‘attachment’.   Hoping and yearning made me see what I wanted to see and not what was really present, resulting in more attachment – which came in the form of regret, disappointment, and grief – when my expectations were not met.   I refused to acknowledge the dysfunction that I not only recognized early on, but allowed, enabled and continued to participate in.

Had I trusted…Had I followed my instincts…Had I not allowed myself to be swayed ……Had I not been afraid…  Had I known…..  Had I…Had I…

We have more power over situations than we realize, much less exercise.  We have to learn how to get out of our own way.  We have to learn to trust ourselves! While we often blame others, or deny, or distract ourselves to keep from having to acknowledge the truth, it is always there, and deep down, we know it.

Real change starts with being honest with ourselves, and admitting to some things that are not easy to admit. It’s okay.  It’s the first step towards breaking painful patterns.

Then, comes forgiveness…..the subject of my next blog.

I tell my children…”Be your own best friend”.  Treat that one who gazes back at you with the same devotion, honesty, and love you give away in hopes it will be reciprocated in kind.  Everything you “wish’ for from others, we already embody.  Fill your own cup.

May the peace that passes all understanding envelope you.  May you honor yourself like never before.  May you be aware when you get in your own way and perpetuate self-defeating relationships, and circumstances.  May you listen to that inner voice that is always speaking to you.   May you take responsibility for the part you play in staying stuck in circumstances you can control.  May you begin to make new choices, and break old patterns.  May you be at ease.

May your hearts be light.

From my heart, to yours,




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Artist, Yogi, Healer, Teacher, Motivator, Seeker who follows her heart. I’ve Learned to Dance in the Winds Of Change, and to stand naked in the midst of chaos. May my voice be a beacon to those seeking that certain something that resonates in a place that longs to live a fuller, richer life. May my own journey inspire! If I can reach this place of healing after all I have faced, survived, and overcome, ANYONE CAN!!

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Today 19 July 2018

Beautiful Souls,

The words I share are for me too!  While I have been on this journey to the Self for some time now, I am often filled with uncertainty, fear and doubt.  Thanks for joining me.  I Pray I can bring a smile to your hearts, as I share my Truth.  If you have any questions, please ask.  I have one request of all of you…..


Today, a young lady I follow on Instagram posted an image of a passage in a book she is currently reading and drawing inspiration from.  Reading without my glasses was a challenge, yet I am glad I stuck with it, for the page she shared was about our mindsets; lack versus prosperity, consciousness, how the choices we make affect our realities, and basically we have everything we need to create a new and improved life, if we but change our perspective.

I initially had a different plan for my morning, usually starting my day in formal meditation.  Today, that meditation took on a new form, as I sat up and responded to one who inspired me to “speak”.

Thank you Tristan for inspiring me today.

One of the first things that came to mind is the Bible verse, ‘Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind”.   I then shared the two books I am currently reading….SETH SPEAKS by Jane Roberts (which I started a week ago), and THE TEAM 2, the second of a series of 5 books, by Frances Key as dictated to her by her deceased mother, Crystal Teddy Key (which I began in 2012, and am never without).  If I were to recommend reading material it would be the latter, to begin with.  THE TEAM Books continue to inspire, and uplift me in a way I cannot adequately finds words to describe.  I have many EUREKA moments, often highlighting and tagging pages, and memorizing prayers/passages.  Each book begins with the awesome phrase: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

And so, my message to Tristan is below.  In the writing more inspiration came, so the original message is not quite in the same form.  May it inspire someone today.

Welcome to The Journey.  It is indeed a process, an unraveling of “the program”.  It can be a lonely walk at times, often filled with doubt, uncertainty, fear, and maybe even guilt depending upon the decisions you are now making towards honoring yourself.  Changing old familiar patterns and breaking the chains takes courage!! YOU GOT THIS! Love the Now You!! Celebrate That One! Encourage That One! Uplift That One! Shine the same love and devotion you give away to so many, on your Self.

Personally, I am coming out of a year of sweeping change in both my personal and business life.  Many tears.  Fear, Doubt, Self-blame, and Guilt were constant companions. I felt rudderless, without direction.  Everything I identified with, collapsed.  I had to get out of my own way, and stop trying SO hard.  The effort it took to be seen, heard, and understood became too much.  I realized the cycle I had been stuck in (and complaining about) for so long was held in place by me! No one else was doing anything that I did not allow.  So, as my song says, I LET IT ALL GO, and made a new choice; to break painful patterns, and trust in the Ancestors, and a Higher Power unlike ever before.   Faith was my constant when I could not ‘see’ beyond the ‘dark night of the soul’.  I had no idea what was in front of me, but I KNEW what I would not go back to doing, being, and allowing.

That voice in my head was loud: Now what? What am I going to do? Where am I going to live? Have I lost my mind? Many mornings I awoke with the words “What have I done?!?” ringing in my head.

And, still I held on (Just like my song HOLD ON says:) to my faith that there has to be something more.  During concerts songs I penned buoyed me, as I sang my Truth.  ALL IS WELL, LET IT ALL GO, DON’T WANNA GO, MY WORLD, HOLD ON, FINALLY FREE, and TAKE IT TO THE FATHER, were my testimony,  and my story.

Today, as the winds of change continue to transform all I have held dear, I walk this life’s walk in a way I have never done before.  It feels really good to be the Now me, and to feel empowered by the freedom that comes with knowing I am not defined by my relationships, nor by the thoughts and opinions of others.  I have broken the chains I never knew were chains until they were no longer there.

So, I welcome you to a new vision of your Self. Freedom comes at great cost, and it will exact it’s price.  May I encourage you to follow your heart.  If you listen and heed (and TRUST), it will never lead you wrong.  May you be aware of ‘that voice’ that is constantly commenting, judging, blaming, criticizing, and wants you to be afraid that the sky is falling.  That voice wants you to doubt yourself and to return to old familiar patterns that no longer serve your health, or happiness.

JOY COMETH IN THE MORNING! I am a living witness.

From my heart to yours,